Guest Blogger Comaseen Lawrence

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not!

Being in love is a great feeling.  Nothing can compare to having someone love you unconditionally and be there for you whenever you need them.   What do you do when reality sets in and you are left alone to raise a child?  This is my story….
 
I’ve always had the American dream, a big house with a white picket fence and beautiful family to reside in it.  However, it didn’t quite end up that way.  I was raised in the church and started singing at age 5. The microphone was almost bigger than my face.  I remember hearing all the cheers, claps and praises as I would sing on Sunday mornings.  It became my passion.  I grew up with my Dad being in and out my life and eventually became content without him around.  I soon realized that his absence created emptiness in my life that I tried to fulfill in relationships with men.  I didn’t make the best choices in relationships and needed someone to blame. So I blamed everyone that had ever hurt me or rejected me for my actions.

Things began to look up.  I met a man in church that blew my mind. He was great to me and he appeared to be interested in learning more about God to better his life. We fell in love and I became pregnant. We were both very excited and couldn’t wait to start our family. In the midst of all this happiness there was so much pain as well. The pastor of the church I was attending made me give an open apology to the congregation because I got pregnant out of wedlock. If I did not give the apology my passion for singing in the music ministry could not continue there. I also had to endure ridicule from people close to me for getting pregnant.  I had my entire life and career ahead of me but no one to affirm that truth in me.

All along, I still trusted God no matter how hard it was. It didn’t matter what people said, I was determined not to give up on God, myself or my son!  To make matters worse, my family dream was shattered.  I realized I was about to be a single mother.  So many thoughts ran through my head. How can I do this by myself?  How can a woman raise a male child alone?  How could someone walk away from their child? The only one that could answer those questions was God.  I had many sleepless nights, crying and praying to God for guidance on how to do this alone.  God reassured me that I was not alone. He was always there and still is!
 
I gave birth to my son 17 years ago and it has not been a walk in the park.  God has kept me in the palm of his hand through it all.  To all the single mothers out there, trust God even when you can’t trace him. Don’t feel ashamed or humiliated to be a single mother. Many great men and women have come from single parent homes. It may feel awkward going to parent teacher night and it’s just you. It might feel odd going to sports events and it’s just you supporting your child and cheering him or her on.  Wrap your arms around your children every night and let them know they have the best father in the world, GOD!  You are not alone!
 
 
Be encouraged!
Comasseen

Comaseen Lawrence is a loving mother to a teenaged son. Her desire is to see single mothers succeed. Comaseen will contribute topics to this blog that will encourage and uplift single mothers. Comaseen is also a gifted vocalist and actress.