I'm The Armor Bearer of My Body

Continuing from my last post "Will You Be My Armor Bearer?" God gave me a dream in 2015 to prepare me for an event that was going to take place in my life in 2016. The event involved me battling Gastrointestinal Issues that we will call, “Possible Gastritis.” I don’t label it definitively because I was never officially diagnosed with Gastritis. 

My PC (primary care doctor) placed me on 20 mg of Omeprazole, but I stopped taking them because they seemed to be masking the problem not helping. I changed my diet by cutting out different foods that caused my stomach to burn and ache. During this time I started to develop acid reflux symptoms - burning in my throat and chest and a bile taste in my mouth. I decided to make an appointment to see a Gastroenterologist. She did the routine stool test and pressed around my stomach for pain. She asked questions but didn’t feel I needed an endoscopy. She wanted to put me back on the Omeprazole and raise the 20 mg to 40 mg to reduce the acid my stomach was producing and to help with healing my stomach… aaugh. We went back and forth on this. She basically said I was being foolish and the symptoms will get worse if I don’t take them. So, she chumped me and I stayed on those worthless things for 3 weeks. 

During those 3 weeks, my body experienced so many different symptoms that I basically lived at the hospital. I was given x-rays for chest pain and bladder issues, blood work was checked for liver and diabetes issues, and on and on. Praise God! Everything checked out fine. During this time I also had a major flare up with a cervical herniated disc in my neck which affected my entire body. I woke up one morning with my head and body on fire from nerve inflammation. I could not lay my head on anything or else I’d experience terrible shooting nerve pains in my back and arms. For 3 days I tried to sleep in an upright position on my couch in which I got no sleep. I ended up on the floor most of the time literally crying and begging God for healing and relief (later in my journey I learned I don't have to beg God for healing, it already belongs to me because of what Jesus did at the cross). He said yes of course, but it would not be instantaneous. That soft voice on the inside said, “This is a process that has to be walked out, now BELIEVE!” Ok God… 



So back to the hospital I went. I was given a prescription for a numbing cream, Tylenol, and muscle relaxers to relax my inflamed nerves so I could sleep. I ended up purchasing a wedge pillow to sleep on. Listen, my bedroom was slowly turning into a hospital room with all these pills, creams and this funny looking pillow. The enemy had plans for me and I was definitely walking into his trap. My weight became a concern. My diet had changed so much I hardly looked like myself. I was very thin and frail. I went from 150 pounds to 136 pounds in like 3 months. The pills were not helping and I became desperate for healing so I drastically changed my diet even more by cutting out meat and dairy for 2 months. A few months later my hair began to shed sooo badly (because I suddenly stopped eating meat and dairy) I thought I was going to be bald. Pic to the left was in May of 2017. Side Note: If you plan on becoming a Vegan or Vegetarian please do your research and do it correctly. 

After all of the foolishness, I finally demanded an endoscopy and my doctor agreed. The results were in!! No Gastritis, No Acid reflux, No Cancer. I was perfectly normal Praise, God. But I still had mild stomach symptoms, strange? A month after my wonderful endoscopy report my father became very ill. My family and I were greatly concerned. I started to notice the symptoms I had before were slowly returning but in greater force than before. I also realized I was dealing with stress which worsened the symptoms, plus the neck and back pain. I felt like I was fighting for my life.

When the Lord gave me that dream, He was preparing me for a journey in which he has definitely been a part of. This journey that I'm still on, consists of me being refined (character development), suffering for a time (hey, Jesus learned obedience through his suffering right?) and enduring for a season (learning to be patient, allowing my faith to be stretched and trusting in the promises found in God's holy word). I spent a whole year in and out of the hospital listening to Doctor’s. God said, let’s restore your health and your neck my way, now. 

In my next post, I will share what the Lord has been teaching me about Faith, Health and walking in His Divine Healing. God wants us healthy and whole. I realized it was time for me to stop trusting in man and put on The Armor of God. This had become a spiritual battle because sickness is not from God it’s from Satan. See you in the next post.

Tytenisha

Detaria Ferguson - Worth The Wait

"The Wait"

Waiting definition - to stay in a place until an expected event happens until someone arrives until it is your turn to do something.

After having gone through a divorce from a 5-year marriage, the concept of waiting was one I was open to receiving. I had gone through a restoration period where healing and forgiveness took its course. At the time, I had not even considered the fact that I would no longer be in a “coveted” marriage with sexual freedom. Having had freedom in my sex life with my previous husband, how could I just turn it off? During my separation, my focus was on allowing God to heal me from a relationship of over 7 years that broke me in places I never knew I needed breaking.

As I began this new journey with my then 2-year old son, I knew that if I ever desired to be married again the way God had desired, then I would not be able to do what I had previously done: NOT HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.

I will admit I was not one who went into their marriage a virgin. My mother always stressed for me to wait, and not to give in to the sexual desires, but I just had to see for myself right? In doing so, I found out why waiting was important, the hard way. I experienced sexual soul ties, hurt feelings, false pregnancy tests, being cheated on, (which still happened in my first marriage), low self-esteem, insecurity, depression, and much more. Maybe waiting hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. I get it; it’s frustrating, your body is anxious, he’s perfect, but even the bible says to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6-7). Waiting will keep you from things and people that you never even knew you needed to be kept from. It sounds deep right? It is deep. Negative soul ties carry a heavy weight, and unless you’re delivered from them they will likely only carry into your marriage. A soul tie is a linkage in the soul realm between two people. It links their souls together. Take a look at (Genesis 2:24). Are you willing to deal with ALL that comes with this person emotionally and spiritually? Yes, the sex might seem so enticing and so right in that moment, but the heartache and dysfunction aren't worth the pain if you’re not connected to the right one.

With my second husband, I learned to wait and God definitely made it worth the wait. I kept my focus on God and stayed in his word.  Accountability was also very important. We met each other through mutual friends in the church circle, and then years later I started attending a church that he was also attending.  Over time our friendship became something stronger. Once we started officially dating, we began a 21 day fast with our church. One of the things that I had asked God to reveal to me during the fast was to show me what our future looked liked concerning marriage and ministry together. In those 21 days of fasting and prayer, God revealed more than I could ever imagine; to the point of wanting to run away for fear of not living up to what God had shown me. Our marriage was going to be our ministry. They were not two separate entities. The scripture says “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires” (Psalm 37:4). Trust me, when you keep you focus on what God’s plans are, He will make sure to connect you with the person that will help bring His kingdom agenda forth.

During our courting, it was hard to not be intimate with him. As a matter of fact, he turned me down many times. My old self tried to creep back in and tell me that he wasn’t attracted to me, or that I was tainted because I had previous sexual partners. And that’s just what the enemy will tell you--lies! I am God’s daughter! How could He want the best for me, and have the man He has for me not want the same? I had never met any guy who was willing to wait for me. So, I knew this could be nothing but God. It allowed me to see my new husband in the spirit and not so much in the physical. I wanted God to have this union from the beginning because I knew doing it my way would not produce anything spiritually healthy. Waiting produces the things that God has ordained for you. The Father knows what you need before you even know that you need them. Keep your focus on God and He will take care of the rest.  Its work, but it’s tangible.

Detaria Ferguson

Aisha Milton-Dorsey's Story

My name is Aisha Milton. I was born and raised in Selma, Alabama. I know who my father is but I don't really know him. My mother left me with my loving grandmother and aunt at age three. I learned at an early age my aunt hated my mom and despised my father. Because of that hate I was never going to become anything in her eyes. I remember many of her negative comments, "You gonna be just like your momma, you ugly, you stupid,"  just anything she could think of to say to me. My mother came to visit once maybe twice a year. Growing up my siblings and I spent summers with her. We took turns because she could never handle us all at once. I remember being with her felt like heaven. My life felt normal for about three months. I felt loved, but confused by the fact that I couldn't stay. I often asked the question, “why can't I stay?" As I got older I realized my mother's new boyfriend wasn't ready for a family and neither was she.

Acting Out

When I turned twelve I started acting up in school. You know, doing things like hanging out with boys, and not going home some days. My aunt had predicted that I would be pregnant or dead by age fourteen. She gave my mom an ultimatum, “come get her or she will be placed in a juvenile center." So, in 1991 I came to live in Boston with my mother. I learned quickly that she didn't know how to be a full time mom, so the same neglect I felt in Alabama was present in Boston. It was actually worse because the neglect and lack of love was from my own mom. It was not the same feeling I felt while visiting in the summer. After three months of living in the city I was doing the same things as I had done in Alabama. The difference was sex and drugs were now involved. My mom thought by beating me and coming to house parties to embarrass me would place me on the right path. She neglected the fact that her and my upbringing put me on this path in the first place. After only three months my mom was fed up! She turned to the court system for help.

No One Loves Me

I ended up in DSS (Dept. of social services) custody, but I ran away from most places. Some places had mice, some didn't feed me well, and others tried to beat me. I told myself I'd rather be homeless than endure the mistreatment, so I left. Being homeless, I did whatever it took to survive which ultimately landed me in DYS (Dept. of youth services). At age sixteen I went to a less secure program in Brockton, MA where I was able to reconnect with old friends. This is where I fell in love with a man I stayed with for seventeen years. He was the first man to tell me that I was smart, beautiful, sexy, and that he loved me. I stayed with him because he understood my dysfunction. He was the one person I knew I could trust. I could always count on him for a place to stay, even if that meant he had to hide me in the basement. I always knew that he would protect me. After a while he stopped saying nice things. Instead, he made sure to always throw my past in my face. He would remind me that no one else loved me, no one else cared. He knew exactly what to say to keep me with him. He kept watering the seed of fear that had been planted in my heart - no one loves me.  He used it for his convenience. There was never physical abuse but the relationship was never healthy because of the mental abuse, and it was killing me slowly.

A Wonderful Change

Despite my troubled life and an eighth-grade education, I was fortunate enough to always hold a good job. I now know that's what we call “Favor." In 2009 I lost my job. While unemployed, I decided to attend a church that a friend told me about. The first visit was cool. I went a second time and thought, "Wow, this pastor is talking about me." For the next three weeks, I went to this house of God. One Sunday morning I cried and cried the entire service. Then a voice said, "Follow me. I love you. I have always loved you." I followed!  In March 2009, I decided to give my life to Christ. I will not tell you that life has been easy or that I have changed completely because I was and still am a work in progress. What I will tell you is this, it was not the church that helped me but what I have learned since attending church that has changed my life. Amongst many things, I have learned that prayer works. I've also learned to completely forgive all those who never knew how to love me and made my childhood painful. I have also taken responsibility for all that I have done wrong, and forgiven myself.

I was told that if I was going to walk this walk, there were people and things I would have to release from my life. This is when I realized I would have to leave my man of seventeen years, a relationship that lasted longer than most marriages. I thought my foundation would shatter. I was beyond afraid. I began to read and pray more and this scripture stood out, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). This scripture gave me peace and confidence to move forward.

Since then, God has sent me a wonderful husband that not only loves me, but loves The Lord as much as I do. He is a man that prays for me and with me and he encourages me.

I have been blessed and feel rewarded when I can be a blessing to others. It has been enjoyable and fulfilling to have the opportunity to share my testimony. I am honored.

Ladies, to all who may be reading, be encouraged and love YOU! Know that you are loved because your Father in Heaven would have it no other way. In 2012 I received my GED. I am looking forward to furthering my education and becoming all that God has called me to be. What has God called you to be?

Aisha

Tara Axson - Pursuing My Passion

Pursuing My Passion

People rarely do what they enjoy and hardly ever pursue their passion. Our passion tends to come secondary to what is suggested we should be doing. It’s probably because we always hear our parents in the back of our heads pushing us to be doctors or lawyers. Don’t get me wrong, those professions are excellent, but we tend not to explore what we really want to do. The options given to us may not be the ones we really want to seek. I was one of those people!

My mother and father wanted me to be successful, and pushed me to be the best that I could be. They wanted me to be in the upper echelon of professions so that I could “Make That Money!” They did not want me to struggle and wanted me to have a better life than they had, and you know what? We should!!! But a better life also includes what we are born to do! See, some of our parents had passions too! They may have chosen a career that paid the bills, instead of one they loved that could have paid the bills as well.

It wasn’t until the passing of my mother, and my father’s sickness (which almost took him out of this world) that I realized my profession was not what I really wanted to do! Here I was a Mechanical Engineer by degree, working as a Project Engineer for a construction company, making good money! I was able to support myself and more. I recognized, life was too short and I was actually a shell of what I could be. I wanted to wake up each morning skipping to work. I wanted a profession that someone had to pull me away from.  If long hours were required I wouldn’t mind because I truly wanted to be there doing it.

I did not feel that way about my current job. So, when my mom passed I asked myself, “What do you actually truly love to do, because you can’t leave this world having just existed?”  After soul searching, I realized that I have always secretly loved beauty, most of all doing hair! Well, after I came to that conclusion, a few weeks later I was laid off due to reasons beyond my control. Although I was devastated, I actually saw it as my opportunity to leap into the unknown and go for my dream! So, I enrolled myself into Cosmetology school (mind you I was in my 30’s, so you only know I was so removed from the classroom) to start my journey not only to become a cosmetologist, but with goals of becoming a Salon Owner. 
 
Now, 4 years later, let me tell you, it has been the best decision ever! Have I hit some bumps in my road? Yes!  But without those bumps and bruises, I would not appreciate my journey as much as I do. I would not have learned all that I know now. I still aspire to be a Salon Owner, but right now I’m gaining as much field knowledge as I can by working as a hairstylist. (Update: As of Oct. 2018, Tara opened her own salon! Details at the end of her story)

You may be thinking, well what about that engineering degree? How opposite is that from what you are doing?!! I have a response to that too! Do you know it influences my career now?  I am all about those angles in cutting hair, all about those formulas for color, all about addressing the scalp issues that many have. I try to get to the origin of the problem in order to have a solution. I love hair care! I believe when you work from the scalp to the ends, the styling will be even better and the client leaves feeling amazing! When my client is satisfied, I feel amazing too. I could never trade that feeling, that’s what makes me excited to be in the Salon! So, reflect on yourself and ask, “What am I passionate about?” Like someone once said, “When you discover it, you will then find your oxygen.”

Tara Axson

BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH TARA!

LM Hair Styles Unisex Salon 530 Washington St (Route 138) Stoughton, MA 02072, StyleSeat.com/taraaxson 617-858-5226 

Vanessa Osgood - I Owe You Praise

The Gift of Dance

1. Who is Vanessa Osgood?

My name is Vanessa Osgood. I'm the wife of Donald Osgood Sr. and mother of 6 children by birth and by proxy ages 22 to 8. I love and enjoy spending time with my family. The Lord has blessed me with many gifts but my passion is dancing for Him.

2. What is the appropriate name for the type of dance you do?

The appropriate name is Liturgical dance. This meaning is derived from liturgy which means public worship or religious acts. Liturgical is primarily enacting the word of God through movement with or without music.

3. How long have you been dancing? Did you learn to dance or is it a natural gift?

I have been dancing my whole life. I was formally trained in ballet and modern during my youth. Dancing is one of my gifts. I have and continue to take dance classes and attend workshops. When you have a gift it is your responsibility to train in order to enhance what God has placed within you; and to increase your ability to present that gift back to him in excellence. I have been ministering in dance for eight years.

4. You dance with such passion and conviction. Where does it come from?

I am a worshipper. Let me go back to the gift. the definition of gift in Greek (Strong's 1435) means "Gift offered in expression of honor." The word Worship in John 4 (Strong's 4352) means to kiss the hand, in token of reverence, kneeling or prostration, to do or pay homage.

I once attended a worship conference and the facilitator said, "Dance is an outward expression of my inner reality." I would never be able to express it better than that. All of the love and adoration I feel for God, who he is to me, and how much He has done for me comes through my dancing for an audience of One. Christians have a saying, "If I had 10,000 tongues, I couldn't thank him enough for all He has done for me." The beauty of dance for me is that I get to use my whole body and everything I am to bless him. I recently found a song that literally spoke to my heart. The song is called "I Owe You Worship". One of the verses says, "In my walk, in my talk, in how I live, let it be pleasing to you, in my thoughts, in my heart, in how I live, let it be a sweet aroma to You, My Lord."

I'm not a singer, painter, or musician. My gift is dance! That is the vehicle of expression God has given me to worship Him and to bless his people.



5. You have studied this art. Can you share with us on the ministry of dance and why it is considered a form of worship to God?  

Dance is literally mentioned throughout the bible. Christianity is birthed out of the Jewish culture and we are grafted into God's original plan for His chosen people. The first time dance is mentioned is in Exodus 15:20. Miriam, Moses' sister performed a prophetic dance after the Israelites deliverance from Egypt. When men went to war it was customary for the closest female relative to meet them with songs and dance declaring God's majesty and might. In 1 Samuel 18:7, when David was returning from a victorious battle against the Philistines, the women came out singing and dancing to meet King Saul. In Exodus 23:14, "Three times you shall keep a feast to me in the year." Feast in this scripture is chagag, which means sacred processional, move in a circle or march.

Dance is written throughout scripture regarding how it relates to praise and worship. 1 Chronicles 15 describes the assignment of worship in the Tabernacle and how David danced before the Ark (the Presence of God). For someone, this may seem far-reaching, as though someone tried to fit dance into praise and worship during service. However, scripture tells us that dancing, leaping, jumping, lifting our hands, bowing, kneeling, and prostrating ourselves before God is a part of our worship when we are in his presence.



6. Someone reading this may have a desire to dance but is afraid to try or is not sure where to begin. What advice would you give them?

My advice is to take it to God in prayer first. Being talented is not a prerequisite for joining a dance ministry. You have to have a heart to worship the Lord… That is most important. With any ministry there is the call. Do you believe God is calling you to the ministry of dance? A lot of people are moved by dance ministry and want to join because of the picture we paint of who God is. But, with anything there is a cost. Much sacrifice goes into the finished liturgical presentation or sermonic presentation the congregation experiences. Our call is to lead the people into worship and it's not something I take lightly. No one should fear whether or not they are talented enough to join but rather, am I ready to put my all on the altar because this is ministry.

7. Any last words you would like to share? 

Jeremiah 31:13 (KJV) says, "Then shall the virgin rejoice in the dance, both young men and old together: for I will turn their mourning into joy, and will comfort them, and make them rejoice from their sorrow." 
  
The word dance in Hebrew is Machowl, which means round dance. We are the bride of Christ and as His return gets closer and closer, we the Bride will rejoice and celebrate His anticipated return. That doesn't mean there will be some type of crazed move of dance in our worship. What it means is that we will become more expressive and liberated in our rejoicing of His second coming. Dance in the word of God is congregational. It was for everyone. We were all created to worship.

Maritza George - The Importance of Giving

Proverbs 18:16
"A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great."
 

The importance of GIVING is like one of the best kept secrets of all times. It truly isn't a secret at all. It's a spiritual principle that so many people exercise in mediocrity. I truly believe this is most often because we are so consumed with OURSELVES. We can hardly see how taking our eyes off of ourselves and our situations to bless someone else, could be of value. So in simple terms, our selfishness keeps us from experiencing the FULL BENEFITS of one of God's Spiritual Principles - "Giving". Some people are natural givers, but most of us have become part of the mass of looking out for SELF. It will take a bit of effort to get the "looking out for SELF" thinkers to understand that GIVING is not just for the person who is receiving, but is also for the GIVER. I heard pastors preach on the importance of giving several times and how they had given to groups and other ministries in the area that they (the pastors) had the same need. So let me restate that, Group A or Church A has a need and they would invest in the same need that Group B or Church B has. The end of the sermon would stress how greatly Church A had been rewarded by God for giving to Church B.

 

Then I heard another pastor preach and he mentioned how God also blesses givers who are not believers in Christ, because God's principle's WORK even when non-believers operate in them. Remember, God's word does not come back void. There were so many women in ministry, including myself that had a need in different areas of our lives. I saw all the weight loss challenges on television and thought, "What would happen if a ministry had a Giving Challenge"? I truly believe this was God ushering my ministry What Matters-Most? Women and Children's Ministries into what has now become multiple giving challenges throughout each year. The first Giving Challenge I started was for 21 days or so. IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER!!! Just as important, is the fact that it changed the LIVES of women who support, follow and benefit from the ministry, who were believing God for breakthrough in their lives!!! Since then the Giving Challenge has now grown to 40 days of Giving, and all I can say is it WORKS!

RED ALERT! It is important for you to remember that you have to GIVE from a cheerful heart. Your giving will be ineffective for yourself if in your heart there is no true joy. Remember, God knows our hearts so get them right in order to reap the benefits of simply LIVING A LIFE OF GIVING. So to each of you, I challenge you to GIVE, GIVE, AND GIVE. The more you give the more creative you will become at giving. It's like anything else, the more you do it the better you get at it. However, there is one rule I need to stress. Keep your eyes off of yourself while giving! This does not mean to neglect what is real in your lives, rather stop focusing on it so much that you are no good to others. TRUST GOD and His Spiritual Principle of GIVING and watch him move.

So the challenge has begun, each day those of you who are ready for true change and breakthrough "In Gods time" not yours, are to GIVE! Giving comes in many forms, from the simple cup of coffee that you bring in for your co-worker, to making extra food one evening and bringing it to a family in need. The list goes on and on. Remember not to expect anything in return, simply GIVE...Giving Challenge World Changers: Each day you are to GIVE at least one time for the next 40 days. I am excited already about what God is going to do FOR YOU, but more importantly through you. May the Angels in Heaven smile down on you and shower you with protection for following one of God's spiritual principles to help his children. Remember, we are all His children, even the unsaved. He loves us ALL.

 

In Obedience,
Maritza 

What Matters-Most? Women & Children's Ministries was founded in 2009 by Maritza George. The ministry exists to help families restore the essential aspects of their relationship with one another. This is predominately done by focusing on strengthening women spiritually, personally, and financially. Principle's within the Holy Bible are incorporated into all areas of the ministry. It is the ministry's hope that by strengthening women, their children and their children's children will have a better chance at a productive, successful life.

 

To find out more about What Matters-Most? Women & Children's Ministries, Inc. Visit our website at maritzageorgeenterprisessllc.com 

 

Tiffany A. Wilson - Dreaming About Mr.

Thinking back, I’ve always been a dreamer. The rapper Nas said, “I know a billionaire that has everything, but a family.”* This is sad to me, yet this lyric points to my belief that every human being is created to love and be loved. Therefore, at the core of the billionaire, the millionaire or the working class guy or gal there rests a commonality, a weight, to experience love.

When I was a teenager, I, like many other girls dreamed of the prince charming guy, rolling up with Levi’s on and the promise of the white picket fence. I can vividly recall pitching this white picket fence idea to my first love. He would snicker at my dream, like hmm?!? And, I would gaze into his eyes, like umm!!! Despite our youth and lack of agreement, I seriously believed that we could “make it last forever,” in my best Keith Sweat voice! Well, my fanciful high hopes for my teenage thug love were quickly terminated. Although, the relationship fizzled, the core of my desire to be in a loving relationship was still alive and well. Unfortunately, I wrongly placed my desire to be loved on Mr. Gansta, Mr. Wangsta and Mr. Pranksta. I can laugh now, but gosh living it was brutal.

Now, over two decades later, I can reflect back to my teens and say, “Why was I dreaming at such a young age for commitment and the white picket fence?” No offense to my parents, but they didn’t represent an example of commitment and marriage, yet I wanted it! Huh? In short, I’ve come to learn that the dreams of Mr. that were bubbling up out of my heart were more of an internal thing than an external thing. Externally, I wasn’t sure if a man could be trusted for the long term, yet internally there was this pull to do it differently, to dream beyond what my eyes could see.

Well, did mind over matter work? Did my dream come true? Nope, not yet! Instead, I have experienced love in two majorly grand ways: First, the love of God and second, the love of self. Sorry, wish I had at least a firework sound for you, but this is my wonderful truth. Believe me, I use to wish I had the quick love story, like girl, one day I was rushing through an airport and BOOM! Mr. Enchanting popped up and said, “slow-w-w down beautiful.” Nah!!! Instead, my love story has been a hard knocks road to self-discovery, gripped with God’s loving, but heavy hand guiding me to restoration. See, I was so low that I had to cry out to a God that I didn’t really know existed to save me. I was minutes away from depression winning, but God had other plans for me. Hallelujah!!! God said, “not only am I real, but I’m going to reveal myself to you in such a personal and supernatural way that you’ll naturally go tell others.” Like the Samaritan woman at the well, I can’t help but say, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did” (John 4:29).

So, I write today to say thankfully, love has not escaped me…love found me and when it is time, Mr. Wow will find his Ms. Good Thing.

Believe God Lovely People, xoxo Tiffany

*NAS, Song: The World’s an Addiction.

Having been a teen mom, and raising her now 24 year old daughter as a single young woman, Tiffany knows what it’s like to struggle, to battle feelings of inadequacy and a distorted self-image. However, with continuous self-development and God’s grace she has overcome many of these obstacles. Tiffany’s passion is teaching young women and those at a disadvantage life skills and how to identify and live out their authentic selves. Although, she’s a native of Boston, Massachusetts – Philadelphia is where she currently lives and calls home. 

Please use TiffyTalks@yahoo.com or Tiffytalks.com

  

 

Dark Face

 

 Is this the Face of Disobedience?

In 2008 I had a dream. In the dream, a man said, "You are called to teach the word of God". In another dream, a man said, "You are called to prophetic ministry". I'm pretty sure that man was God. Shortly after, I began to have a series of "being in school dreams" which meant I needed to be educated in the areas I was being called to. For the last five years, I've been on this amazing and difficult journey of studying the bible and understanding my place in the prophetic. For those who may not know, prophetic ministry is when a person is called to be a mouthpiece for God. My area of the prophetic is in dreams and visions but it also includes bible teaching and intercessory prayer. In 2012 God was nudging me to test the waters. For a long time, I vacillated between yes, no, for fear of what people would think? Finally, I created this blog which is a culmination of what I was called to do and a step in the right direction, I hope!

At a very young age, singing and writing were the first gifts I discovered. I passionately pursued a gospel singing career in my late teens and twenties. When I got married I decided to put the music career on hold to focus on building a family. I used to think singing was my ONLY purpose in life until I had those dreams. Is singing still my passion? It sure is. I still write songs and sing when asked to, but it's been several years since I've considered pursuing a singing career, until recently. This is when I discovered SOMEONE was not pleased with a decision i'd made.

A few months ago, the world was inundated with everything Beyonce. The National Anthem, the Oprah interview, the Super bowl, and her much-anticipated documentary. I watched all of them lol!! Illuminati speculations aside, I surprisingly enjoyed her documentary because of her transparency and her passion for music. I was drawn to the creative side of her because I am creative as well. Beyonce's focus and drive absolutely inspired me. After watching the documentary all I could think about was doing my music again. I quickly sprung into action looking for photographers to take some current photos. I was considering learning how to play chords on the piano so I could sing my own songs. I became consumed with how to market myself and finding gigs to showcase my talent. This went on for about a month with no progress and no callbacks. I was frustrated and annoyed. I wasn't writing, I wasn't studying, I was just stuck. Then I had this dream:

"I had a dark-skinned face. I was looking in the mirror. My features looked different. My hands and body were still brown but my face had a dark complexion. I told God I would accept it if that is what he wanted. I wasn't upset or angry; I just wasn't used to this. I knew I wouldn't stay this way for long".

This dream did not sit well with me. I became very sad and cried a lot. I asked God to give me clarity on this dream. I needed to understand the meaning, and quickly. In my heart, I felt God was not happy with me but I had no idea what I did. One night I was watching John Paul Jackson on YouTube. He is a modern-day prophet who is gifted in the area of dreams and visions. He was sharing his story on how he avoided the prophetic call on his life for a long time because his passion was to be a successful businessman. He talked about knowing God's voice, heeding to his call, and doing God's will. Boom! There was my answer! I honestly felt my "dark face" dream was about me following my personal desires and not the will of God for this particular season in my life. That same night, I came across an article called The Obedient Heart on John Paul Jackson's website. This passage from the article completely sums up my dream:

"If we refuse to do what God wants, evil begins to show its face in our lives. This is a case of simple cause and effect. The closer we are to God, the more we look like Him. The further we are from God, the less we look like Him, and the more at home we are with darkness". 

Is that powerful or what? I know it seems so extreme, but it got my attention! I was moving in disobedience all because I felt the urge to start this music career again when God didn't tell me to. My mind shifted from teaching, writing, and studying to singing, playing the piano, and taking pictures lol! I had to repent and ask God to forgive me for doing what I wanted to do. Does this mean I will never be able to do anything musically? No, God would not give me gifts that I'm not able to use. This is not the time or the season for me to run after that desire.
 
I share this experience to encourage someone to stay on course. If God has given you an assignment or has called you to do a certain thing, do it! Stick with it! Many times the assignment God calls us to starts out exciting and purposeful. Once the excitement wears off and we don't see the results as quickly as we'd like, or even understand where God is going with all of this, we begin entertaining other opportunities and that's when we get into trouble. Doing the opposite of what God has called you to do, no matter how great you think it will impact the kingdom of God, is considered disobedience. After disobedience, you begin to move in rebellion and that's when discipline comes in. God disciplines those he loves right? Don't worry, before God disciplines He extends plenty of grace. God will always communicate with you when you are moving off course. It's up to you to hear it, receive it, and hopefully respond with an obedient heart. Show God you love him by obeying him and trust that the plans he has for you are greater than what you could ever imagine or think.

"Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them" - John 14:21.  
 
Blessings,
Tytenisha

 

 

Kimmiya Dorsey - Do The Right Thing!

 

"Do The Right Thing"

My Facebook Friend Experience

Did she really post that?

  

In December 2012, I decided to get back to the gym. I picked up a little winter weight and finally felt like I needed to do something about it. I take different aerobics classes but this particular night I decided to mix it up and take a Zumba class that I love. I was so excited about taking the class again that when I got home I posted on Facebook, “I took a Zumba class tonight that kicked my butt!"  A couple of people clicked "like" on my post and a couple of people commented. Renee, one of my good childhood friends that I speak with regularly posted a comment. We went back and forth, laughing and joking like we always do. 

The very next day another friend/acquaintance named Amy who is a former co-worker of mine decided to comment as well and she said verbatim "I am just happy that you decided to go back to the gym because you are getting kind of fat."  I scrolled the page up some more because surely there was a smiley face, a j/k or an "I'm only joking" somewhere, but there was none. There was just a period after her statement. I was taken aback, caught off guard, humiliated, and extremely mad!  Although I know Amy, I don't see her regularly, nor do I know her well enough for us to play in this manner. I didn't know what to think or how to respond. I tried to contact a mutual friend of ours named Steven who has a better relationship with Amy than I do. I wanted to run this situation by him, but of course, I could not reach him. 

I kept asking myself, why on earth would someone post something like that on such a public forum? I would never do that to ANYONE!  My head was spinning. I just couldn't rationally process it in my mind. I only thought for a split second that maybe she was playing, but because there was no follow-up message or some sort of indication that she was only teasing, I took it VERY personally. I went back to the original post to re-read what she wrote. I became angry and responded to Amy by divulging some extremely personal information about her.  I then warned her not to get on my page and speak to me that way again! The moment I hit the send button, I knew in my heart and mind that I was wrong. I knew what I had just done was totally out of line and completely out of character for me.

I could have and should have sent a personal note asking Amy what the problem was, but my normal and rational sense was non-existent.  Amy had exposed me without even realizing it. Not only did she mention to all of Facebook that I had put on a little weight, but my insecurities became unhinged. I basically confirmed what she said to me had struck a nerve by angrily retaliating. That joy and satisfaction I was supposed to feel after "telling her off" became feelings of embarrassment and shame for how I handled the situation. What I publicly shared about Amy was personal information that I had "heard", not factual information that I knew for sure. This was second-hand information that I purposely used to hurt her. I felt terrible and the conviction set in. This matter had spun out of control and although one might think it was all Amy's fault, it really was mine. 

As I was preparing to leave work for the day, Amy sent me a private message on Facebook that to this day I still have not read. Don't judge me. I knew she was trying to explain that she was only kidding. I knew this without even reading her note. That night I was feeling uneasy about the situation so I went by my parent's house to see them and get some sound advice. As I was explaining the details to them, my poor father fell asleep and my mother listened intently. She agreed I was wrong and needed to make it right. She encouraged me to read the private note first and then reach out to Amy immediately. I went home and tried to open up the message but I couldn't bring myself to read anything that was going to upset me or hurt my feelings even more. I was stressed about this issue and the guilt I was feeling was like heavy armor. I was really disappointed in myself and I just didn't know how to fix it.

Steven finally called me back. He couldn't believe what Amy had said to me, but he was sure that she was only playing. He assured me that all would be well if I just reached out to her, apologize and explain to her how I was feeling. Steven thought that I should know that Amy is employed at a store in the same mall my company is in. God, are you kidding me??  Steven implored me to make it right soon before I ran into her. Weeks went by and I was still dragging my feet on this issue. My mother had been asking me daily if I had contacted Amy and each time I would regretfully tell her no. This load was getting heavier and I was only making it worse by not doing what I was supposed to do. In my mind, I just didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to approach the situation and I was feeling like Facebook is what got me into this mess. I didn't want to send Amy a long-winded message. I felt like it was impersonal and I really wanted her to receive what I was saying and forgive me.

December 24, 2012, I was heading into work.  It was the day before Christmas and the day before I got ready to go on vacation until the New Year. I had gotten a ride to work that day and it was early enough to stop and get myself a cup of coffee. I grab my coffee and make my way through the mall. I was almost a month removed from this situation so the burden was not as heavy. On this particular morning, around 8:40 am there was hardly anyone in the mall. As I continued to make my way to my office I noticed a small, petite woman at the ATM machine. When she finished her transaction and turned around, to my surprise it was Amy! We made complete eye contact. I was not expecting to see her that morning or at all for that matter. It was such an unbelievable moment because there was not another person in-ear or eyesight except for us. She was completely surprised to see me too and the look on her face was evident.

Without hesitation and without skipping a beat I walked right over and stood in front of her. She didn't move or shun me away, but she was guarded. I immediately said "Amy, I owe you an apology. What I said to you on Facebook was totally wrong and inappropriate. I have been feeling a little sensitive about my weight lately and your comment caught me off guard and hurt my feelings. Still, I behaved poorly and I sincerely apologize to you". Her eyes instantly welled up and she said "I really appreciate you saying that to me, I really do. This has made my day. I was being sarcastic on Facebook and would never say anything to hurt you". My own eyes were watery because I knew what I had done was wrong, but was hopeful that my apology would give her some peace. She hugged me and we embraced and I felt the need to reiterate my apology again a little more detailed because I wanted her to know how very sorry I was. Not only did she accept my apology but she suggested that we get together for dinner soon since we work so close and catch up. We have yet to do that but I look forward to when we do. 

This was a divine moment that was drawn up like a basketball play, coached by the Lord. I knew instantly that only He could have orchestrated that very moment. It was so perfect! No one else in that section of the mall, on Christmas Eve except for me and Amy? I gathered from this how amazing God really is and how when we don't do what is right, He will sometimes create a situation to almost force us to do the right thing. I still had a choice as to whether or not I was going to walk away from Amy or walk toward her. God gives us options, but there was just no way that I could ignore her so I chose to seize the moment. I suspect in this life I will make more mistakes but this experience will be a personal reminder for me to not drag my feet on matters, especially when the Lord is asking me to do what is right.

Kimmiya Dorsey